Live Nude Girls (1995) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

A group of women get together for a slumber party of the night of the bachelor party for one of their fiancÚs. They have been friends since primary school. They get drunk, talk a lot about sex, and have a lot of sexual fantasies which are dramatized for our viewing pleasure. Some of the chats and daydreams are amusing. Some are just idle chat and gossip.

That's about the whole enchilada, amigos. It doesn't have a lot of substance and it's one of those movies which had a rolling release date, and was postponed so many times that it almost ended rolling off the calendar altogether before receiving a perfunctory release. It's about like watching a ninety minute episode of "Sex and the City", complete with Kim Cattrall. In comparison to that TV show, this film has one major plus and one major minus. On the negative side, you don't know the characters in the film, so you don't get that feeling of friendly familiarity that comes from watching a beloved TV show. On the positive side, the film was scripted and directed by a woman, so the chitchat is genuine girl talk, as opposed to Sex and the City, which seems to be written by men as often as not.

There are a couple of pretty good gags along the way. For example:

  • the women imagine the guys' bachelor party as a den of iniquity, but we see it, and it is a complete snoozefest
  • the neighbor's son overhears the women talking about how men always imagine a woman naked as soon as they meet one, then he peeks over the top of the fence, and imagines them all naked immediately!

The best news for male viewers is that all six women with major roles show at least a little bit of flesh (see the section to the right). In addition to the kid's fantasy, there is some nudity in fantasy sequences, including lesbian fantasies. Lora Zane leads the nudity parade by participating in sex scenes with people of both sexes!

NUDITY REPORT

  • Dana Delany - bum in a sexual fantasy.
  • Kim Cattrall - bum in a thong, brief right breast when the kid imagines them naked.
  • Lora Zane - breasts several times, bum behind a frosted shower door.
  • Laila Robbins  - right breast from the side and bum, when the kid imagines them naked.
  • Olivia d'Abo - breasts in a prolonged lesbian sex scene.
  • Cynthia Stevenson - breasts when the kid imagines them naked.

DVD info from Amazon

  • no features, no widescreen, transfer is below average.

That good news is balanced off, however, by the fact that this is a lame DVD. There are no features. There is no widescreen version. The full screen version is undercontrasted and undersaturated.

"What?", you're thinking, "Mr. Always-too-verbose has nothing more to say? Correct. As for the deeper meaning of the movie, well, as Gertrude Stein once commented about Oakland, "there is no 'there' there".

The Critics Vote ...

  • James Berardinelli 3/4

The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a C. The IMDb score has it pegged in the right range - OK if your kind of flick. It is fairly amusing, assuming you like slice-of-life chat-chat movies with a feminine slant. If you do not like that sort of project, you can take comfort in naked body parts from six different women.

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