Another 9 1/2 Weeks (1997) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna
Scoop's comments in white
Did we really need to know the rest of this story?
Years after the famous 9 1/2 week affair, John Grey has never gotten over the fact that he let Elizabeth out of his life without telling her that he loved her. This has made him a despondent old man on the verge of suicide, and he flies to Paris so that he can mope around there and try to find out what happened to his true love. Turns out she kicked the bucket, after a descent into the nasty drug scene.
John then has a brief fling with one of Elizabeth's friends, a woman who read Elizabeth's diary accounts of the first 9 1/2 weeks. The problem is that John is aware that what he used to be screwed up his whole life and lost him Elizabeth, but the other chick wants him to be exactly what he used to be, because she's been fantasizing about him since she read the diaries. So they don't exactly have a match made in heaven.
The not-so-imaginative irony is that the girlfriend lets John go in the same way that John once let Elizabeth go.
The film has some good points. It looks good except for the sex scenes, which are too dark. The art direction is attractive, and the exteriors take place in Paris and the French countryside. And that's about it for the plusses.
On the negative side, it's a 90 minute movie with only 3-4 minutes of plot. And talk about a lack of chemistry between leads! The two of them never seemed to like each other, even when they were having sex.
Poor ol' Mickey Rourke hasn't aged so well. He looked like a ventriloquist's dummy that recently had his hair re-fitted. Despite his appearance, Rourke gave the role his best shot, and was fairly effective as a guy lost inside himself, rich in possessions but obsessed with regret about past mistakes and chances never taken.
Angie Everhart looked great, but she obviously went to the Royal Kathy Ireland School of Supermodel Acting, and just couldn't deliver a line naturally, so was not able to create a character you can relate to. It is unfortunately for Angie, that film techgnology developed sound before color. If there had ever been silent color films, she could have been the Theda Bara of her time. Her statuesque frame, her shocking mane of red hair, and the way she fills out a sweater all make her an imposing physical presence. At least until she has to deliver a line, at which point she makes Pam Anderson seem to have the depth of Soren Kirkegaard. She delivers every line with the chirpy intonations of a high school cheerleader.
It's supposed to be a bit of classy erotica. The art direction is fairly classy, but the who project is about as erotic as pizza stains on your tie. The sex scenes are too dark, the leads don't seem to like each other, and Angie just doesn't have the acting skills to carry her part. It isn't sexy enough to be a softcore, and it doesn't have enough content or good enough acting to be a real movie. End of story.
Tuna's comments in yellow
As the film opens, we see a straight razor playing with a nipple. A maid knocks to deliver breakfast, and we see Mickey Rourke toying with a blindfolded blonde. Since the maid has broken the mood, the blindfolded woman asks that most romantic of questions, "Will this be cash or credit card?"
Yes, the Mickster,
after screwing up a promising relationship with Kim Basinger in the
original film by pushing her too far past her comfort level in BDSM, is
still madly in love with her. In a case of art imitating life, he has
now become an aging, pathetic, whining loser whose life is behind him.
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